If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
