I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
