i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
