I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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