Non-Jews are for practice
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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