my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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