i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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