1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
