the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
