why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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