I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
