I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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