Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
