You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize