I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Pants are for mortals
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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