We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
