Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
