Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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