and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
