Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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