Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
