This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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