nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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