dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i now understand why vodka
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize