not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize