Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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