I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
