I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
