First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm like, not good at living.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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