I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
