I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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