he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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