did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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