no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
