For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
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Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I currently don't understand fingers.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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