I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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