I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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