he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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