Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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