I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
