I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
