It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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