I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
