Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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