Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've blown a few things in my day
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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