I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Are we still banned from the library?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
