there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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