It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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