I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
