You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Randomize
