She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
