Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
