Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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