Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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(415): View more from California

I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began

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(313): View more from Michigan

Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.

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(661): View more from California

u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom

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(207): View more from Maine

I still have a little drunk in my system

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(954): View more from Florida

Sex in the backyard? Check.

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