New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
be right there i have to get my cape
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
