You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
