hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
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There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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