Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
