I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I could fuck to npr.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
