Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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